Coffee is NOT waking my sorry ass up. I didn't sleep last night with all the rain and thunder going on last night. No matter how I tried to get in a comfy position, sleep wasn't happening. So here I sit this morning dragging some booty and hurting like hell. I hope later on down the road I won't be able to tell the weather with this new knee. TGIF...Hope everyone has a great weekend!

I wonder what it would feel like to do away with your skanky ass??? I hope you rot in hell sweetie!

Thanks for calling dad to see if I wanted fried shimp with the fixings. Just spring my ass from this bed will ya! Gawd I'm fucking bored!!!

I am not liking rehab at all. They had me lifting two pounds today and I'm sure in the next hour or so I'll be feeling the pain. I'm ready for all of this to be over so I can go back to work...

Tarzan how come we haven't seen you in a movie in a long time?


- Well, I've had a bad case of arthritis and I can't swim anymore
or jump from branch to branch.


- What about Jane, Tarzan?


- Jane is in really bad shape. She has Alzheimer and doesn't know
who I am anymore.


- That's sad Tarzan. What about Cheetah. Have you heard anything
about her?


- Oh Cheetah. She's really doing well. She married a lawyer and
is now living at the White House.

Here it is Sunday in the house and I have things to do but I would like nothing more than to go right back to sleep so I can forget about the pain in my knee. This knee replacement thing SUCKS I tell ya. Either you are in pain or your knee is stiff, forget about feeling good when a front is coming in. Oh my, you are stiff and achy. Enough of my cry baby act, Daughter Dear went into Clear Lake Friday night to attend my step niece's wedding reception. My dad told me everyone was bragging on how grown up she is and how she has turned into a beautiful young lady. I have to agree even though I'm her mommy.
Guess I'll get my fat ass up and start a load of laundry and get some coffee. I get to hit Wally World in a bit with my wheel chair. I can't wait because I HATE TO SHOP! Fun fun fun....
Have a great Sunday folks!

My Beautiful Baby

 

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE







NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Matt, Dave and Bill go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Matt, Dave and Bill will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

I Need A Vacation

Queen of boredom here. I still haven't taken that nap yet and for the life of me I can't figure out why I french braided my hair. I look like a tard, I wonder what Daughter Dear will have to say when she gets in. LOL...Right now all I can think about is getting out of this bed. I swear I'm suffering from butt rot and at times I can feel my butt spreading. Agh...I'm in hell!!!

AGH....

Stupid me. I should have taken the nap like I said in the post below. But nooooo.... I just had to get up and wonder into my child's bedroom. OMFG... it's a toxic waste dump in there.Two large garbage bags later it looks half way decent. All I have to do is get the bags to the curb so the trash man can take it away. I'm sure I'll have crying and fits later today but I don't care. Daughter dear should have never left it piled on the floor because I have warned her before, leave it on the floor in it goes bye bye. I think it's time for that nap.

WTF

 

Boo Hoo....

Another day of nothing. I'm ready to be up and moving around more. This laying around and having to use so form of equipment to walk is a pain in the ass. Sorry to bitch but I'm ready to have my life back so I can do the things I usually do. Daughter Dear was saying she will be glad when I can drive again so Grandpa doesn't have to cart her around any more. Guess I'll take a nap.....and it's only 9:00 a.m.